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Actor. Not an actual Judge
New York became one of the first states to recognize marriage equality in 2011, four years before the U.S. Supreme Court’s landmark Obergefell v. Hodges decision made same-sex marriage legal nationwide. This means that LGBTQ+ couples in New York have been navigating the realities of both marriage and divorce longer than couples in many other states.
Legally, same-sex couples in New York enjoy the same rights and responsibilities as opposite-sex couples when it comes to divorce. The process is handled in the Supreme Court of the State of New York and follows the same statutes. But while the law is equal, real-world situations can create unique challenges — from parentage recognition to dividing property acquired before 2011 to calculating spousal maintenance after long relationships that weren’t legally recognized at the time.
For couples who want to keep the process uncontested, understanding how New York courts handle these issues is key to avoiding unnecessary disputes.
Before filing for divorce in New York, residency requirements must be met. You can file if:
Most same-sex couples choose the no-fault ground of “irretrievable breakdown” of the marriage for at least six months. This avoids blame and keeps the process straightforward. Fault-based grounds — such as abandonment, adultery, or cruelty — are still available, but they generally make divorces more adversarial and time-consuming.
Because New York’s residency rules are more complex than in many states, accurate petitions and supporting documents are essential. A mistake in this step can cause significant delays.
New York law requires custody decisions to be made in the best interests of the child. Courts consider factors such as:
Custody may be legal custody (decision-making authority) or physical custody (where the child lives). Courts can award joint custody, sole custody, or a combination of legal and physical custody based on what benefits the child.
For LGBTQ+ parents, complications arise if one spouse is not legally recognized as a parent. While New York law recognizes adoption, surrogacy agreements, and birth certificates, couples who did not complete these steps may face custody disputes. The courts have increasingly recognized the rights of “de facto parents,” but this can still lead to legal battles if one spouse challenges the other’s role.
Child support is determined by the Child Support Standards Act (CSSA). This formula considers combined parental income (up to a statutory cap), the number of children, healthcare costs, and childcare expenses. Judges will not approve agreements that fall outside these guidelines without strong justification.
For same-sex couples, especially those raising children through adoption or assisted reproduction, ensuring custody and support agreements are properly documented is critical to avoiding delays.
New York follows the principle of equitable distribution. Marital property — assets acquired during the marriage — is divided fairly, though not necessarily 50/50. Separate property includes:
Equitable distribution covers homes, retirement accounts, businesses, vehicles, bank accounts, and debts. Courts weigh factors such as each spouse’s financial contributions, non-financial contributions (like caregiving), and future financial prospects.
For LGBTQ+ couples, the challenge often lies in the timeline. Many couples lived as committed partners long before their marriages were legally recognized in 2011. Property acquired before the wedding date may not count as marital property under New York law, even if both spouses contributed. Judges may consider fairness, but the legal wedding date typically controls.
Couples who negotiate settlements that reflect both legal requirements and the realities of their shared life usually avoid costly disputes.
In New York, alimony is known as spousal maintenance. Courts may award:
Judges use statutory guidelines to calculate maintenance, but they can deviate if fairness requires it. Factors include:
For same-sex couples, the issue of marriage length is particularly important. Courts usually calculate from the legal marriage date — not from the start of the relationship. Couples who lived together for decades before 2011 may see that time excluded, significantly impacting the duration and amount of maintenance.
Spouses who agree on fair support terms and present them clearly to the court usually experience fewer delays.
An uncontested divorce in New York can move relatively quickly, but the process is more layered than many expect. There are multiple filing stages, notarization requirements, and county-specific practices that can add complexity.
1. Drafting the Required Documents
Before filing, the spouses must prepare a complete set of documents. In New York, this often includes:
These must be internally consistent. For example, the Settlement Agreement must match the Child Support Worksheet and the Net Worth Statement, or the judge may reject the filing.
2. Notarization of Documents
Most New York divorce filings require notarization, including the Settlement Agreement and affidavits. Couples can use traditional in-person notaries, and some counties now permit Remote Online Notarization (RON), though acceptance varies. Incorrect or missing notarization is a frequent reason clerks return filings for correction.
3. Filing for an Index Number
The divorce case formally begins when the plaintiff files the Summons (with or without a Complaint) with the County Clerk’s Office and pays the Index Number fee. The Index Number is the official case number and must appear on every subsequent document filed in the case.
4. Service of Process
The plaintiff then serves the Summons and supporting documents on the defendant spouse. In uncontested cases, service is often acknowledged through an Affidavit of Defendant (notarized), which allows the case to proceed without formal service by sheriff or process server. If this acknowledgment is not obtained, personal service is required.
5. Request for Judicial Intervention (RJI)
After service and initial filings, the next major step is filing the Request for Judicial Intervention (RJI). The RJI formally brings the case under the court’s active review and assigns it to a judge. Without filing an RJI, the case cannot move forward to resolution.
6. Exchange of Financial Disclosures
Both spouses must exchange financial information. This usually includes Net Worth Statements, tax returns, pay stubs, and bank records. These disclosures support the terms of the Settlement Agreement and ensure compliance with the CSSA for child support. Inaccurate or incomplete disclosures are a common reason for delays.
7. Settlement Agreement and Supporting Documents
The spouses must execute a Settlement Agreement (notarized) covering all issues:
The Settlement Agreement is submitted along with additional forms required by the court, such as the Note of Issue, the Affidavit of Regularity, and the Child Support Addendum (if applicable).
8. Court Review and Judgment of Divorce
Once the Index Number and RJI have been filed, disclosures exchanged, and agreements submitted, the judge reviews the full package. The judge checks that:
If everything meets the court’s requirements, the judge signs the Judgment of Divorce, which is then entered with the County Clerk, officially dissolving the marriage.
Why the Process Can Take Longer than Expected
While many uncontested divorces in New York are finalized within a few months, the timeline often varies by county and court backlog. Delays are common when:
Because of the multi-step filing process — first obtaining the Index Number, then filing the RJI, and finally submitting the final divorce package — accuracy at each stage is critical.
Timelines vary by county. In New York City, where courts handle heavy caseloads, uncontested divorces may take longer than in smaller upstate counties. Couples who prepare accurate paperwork from the start usually see faster results.
Even with equal legal protections, same-sex couples in New York may face:
These issues highlight the importance of preparation and clear documentation, especially for couples who want an uncontested divorce.
New York guarantees full equality in divorce law, but practical challenges — like parentage recognition, property timelines, and spousal maintenance — can complicate matters for LGBTQ+ spouses. Couples who plan carefully and resolve their issues in advance often find that uncontested divorce is the fastest and least stressful path.
For many, using an affordable online divorce service tailored to uncontested cases is the most practical solution. It ensures documents meet New York’s strict requirements, avoids costly mistakes, and helps couples move forward confidently — whether in Manhattan, Buffalo, Rochester, Albany, or anywhere else in the state.
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